There’s a perennial debate as to whether video games can be art. The height of it came when Roger Ebert weighed in on the subject and declared emphatically that is was impossible. Although he later apologized (conceding that as a non-gamer, it’s not his place to judge or label others’ experiences), the topic itself still lives on. Probably, it will for some time until this relatively new medium has found the same place in popular culture as movies, books and plays.

The first scene of the game. Turns out much less depressing than it looks.

The dictionary definition of art is “The expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.” In that sense, I’ve played some games that definitely qualify. Games where, yes, the gameplay element and/or “fun factor” is important, but it’s the “art” side of things – the message, the meaning, the characters, the way it makes you think and the feelings left behind – that make them most worthwhile. One such game is a little Flash title called Today I Die.

Today I Die starts with a girl on the brink of suicide. The game itself offers no real explanation why she’s so depressed, but through a series of simple puzzles and what basically amounts to magnetic poetry, it’s up to you sort out her feelings and bring her back into the light. The game only takes a few minutes to finish, and the site it’s on offers some hints in case you get stuck. It even has some replay value: a choice presented at the end that affects the final outcome.

The graphics are extremely simple. I think this is good for the game. Without a lot of fancy stuff getting in the way, your attention is more focused on the gameplay and the message, whatever they might mean to you. The music, too, is a perfect complement: it both enhances and captures the mood as it guides you through the girl’s emotional journey.

Today I Die is the kind of game that’s probably different for everyone, and I recommend that everyone should try it at least once. For me, it’s a game I tend to come back to when I’m feeling hopeless and the fog refuses to lift or during less dire times when I just want a reason to smile. Somehow, working out those puzzles and putting it all together is often as helpful for me as it is for the pixelated girl. Not so much a joyous thing as quietly triumphant.

Oh, and if playing this game makes you cry, you won’t be the first.

You can play the game here: http://www.ludomancy.com/games/today.php

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Category: Dreaming You
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I made a post on my Tumblr: Why I Don’t Make videos Anymore. Just figured I should share it for the sake visitors who wanted more of those reviews.

Category: News & Info
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It took me a while to do this, but I figured that I should since some people have either asked me why I’m not making new videos or said they hope to see more. “Videos” meaning the game reviews I did off and on for a couple of years. Long story short, there won’t be any more except on whatever rare occasion that spirit moves me. But the old ones will stay archived on my site for whoever wants to see them. For the long story made longer, feel free to read on.[[MORE]]

I started making videos because it looked like fun and, potentially, a way to make money. I guess on some level I had the same dream a lot of people do when they get into that: hitting it big like Spoony or James or whoever else comes to mind. That was probably never going to happen, but the relative handful of people around who enjoyed my work were — and are — wonderful. In fact, they’re the primary reason I kept it up as long as I did: I knew that even if I wasn’t famous or important, at least there were always that small group of people I knew I could make happy. And it was really nice to think that if I kept working at it, I might have a place to belong.

Still, I also had a specific goal in mind. I wanted to get on Blistered Thumbs just to see how I could do with a bit more exposure. Just to see if, maybe, I could go for something bigger — especially since people had started asking me “Have you applied to BT?” or “Have you applied to Channel Awesome?” and whatnot. So, I did. Twice. I never got an answer. Not an acceptance, obviously, and no rejection letters, either. Just no reply at all. Whether that meant “You’ve GOT to be kidding” or just that my submissions got lost in the intertubes, I have no idea, but I can take a hint.

The second non-answer got me to thinking if it was really enough. Wondering if, with nowhere to go, I still wanted to keep going. Sure, there were some things I loved about making videos: making/wearing cute costumes, putting together special effects, seeing it all come together when I came up with a really good review… and, more than anything, the chance to tell a story. And, of course, the lovely people who looked forward to my stuff. But as for filmmaking in general, I don’t have the resources for Fancy Equipment X or even enough space for Proper Setup Y, and truthfully, I HATE filming myself. Even in vlogs, which is why I almost never do them. On some level, it freaks me out a bit when it finally sinks in that PEOPLE ARE ACTUALLY WATCHING *ME* and EXPECTING ME TO DO STUFF, and I’m just more comfortable as a faceless (and mostly voiceless) creator. There were also times when the “game review” thing felt creatively confining, or like I couldn’t quite express on camera what I might be able to if I simply wrote them.

I also started thinking “Do you love this enough to do it just for that? Do you look forward to each new review, or is it just an obligation? Is this really, truly something you see yourself doing five years from now, or even the next five months?” You can probably guess the answers. So, I looked for things I could happily do just for myself. To make another long story short, that’s how my site ended up with its current direction.

I’m sorry to disappoint anyone who wanted new videos. I’ll probably still make them once in a blue moon, but it’s just not something that I’ll focus on anymore, instead putting that energy into my new webcomic, my articles and sundry other things that I have mind. It might not be what everyone wants. But it IS what makes me happy.

Category: Personal/Meta
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This is from a friend of mine who makes videos from time to time: informative(?) vlogs, cool reviews and, obviously, fun Let’s Plays. He’s a good person and he’s good at what he does, so I figured I’d share this to (if wants to) encourage him to do a bit more game stuff.

Category: Friday Feature
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As I rule, I try to steer clear of any and all internet drama. In the past, I’ve seen it, been there, bought the crappy souvenir, and sometimes ended up with some unpleasant battle scars to show for it-usually for being foolish enough to want to help someone.

In this case, though, a thing came along that’s both relevant to the kinds of topics I want to cover and pretty easy to write about, which made it hard to pass up. That thing would be the backlash against the recent trailer for the Angry Video Game Nerd movie. A backlash that’s apparently been brewing to some extent from the moment the film’s creator opened a Kickstarter an Indiegog thing to fund the project.

Now, despite the title, this isn’t so much a defense of the movie (or James Rolfe) as an unusually calm, organized rantlet from someone thoroughly bemused and confused by some of the GRRR!!! OUTRAGE!!!1 she’s seeing from some corners of the internet. Here is the apparently controversial trailer:

To me, it doesn’t look bad. It isn’t exactly The Godfather, but it is about what I expected: a light, cheesy-looking little movie made for a rather tiny budget in Hollywood terms, peppered with in-jokes and such for AVGN fans. Also, from what I know, making a “real” movie has been James’s personal dream for years. I think it’s cool that he was able to make it come true.

To get the funds for this, James used Indiegogo, offering various incentives for people to donate money to get the film made. His fans turned out to be eager and willing to give him a hand… and for some reason, some people seem to find that extremely offensive. No, he didn’t threaten anyone. No, he didn’t guilt-trip anyone. He just said basically, “Help me out with this if you feel like.” And as it turns out, a lot of people did.

The weird thing is, from what I’ve seen, (and I apologize if I’m mistaken) very few-if any-of the people who actually donated are doing the complaining. Saying “This trailer sucks!” is fine. Saying “I think this is a complete waste of money” is fine, too. But something else seems to be going on here since the usual the protests boil down to “James had no right to ask for, much less accept that money from his adoring fans!” which, at least from my perspective, makes no sense at all. If James wants to ask for help, that’s his prerogative. That’s why Kickstarter and Indiegogo exist. It’s not like he forced anyone, and how other people spend their money is their business. If they wanted to fund this movie and feel good for having done it, well, good for them. If they sent in money and they feel they’ve been ripped off, it’s up to them to say so.

Then, there are the folks who shake their fists and shout, “How dare James take that money! It could have gone to charity!” I hate to break it to them, but people have been spending their money on frivolous crap ever since the invention of money. If the donors hadn’t given theirs to James for his movie, they probably would’ve spent it on Blu-rays or video games or something, not blankets for homeless orphans. But guess what? It’s still their money and their business. Moreover, I don’t see too many people expressing this particular shade of righteous indignation rushing out to sell their equally frivolous Xboxes and PS3s and then donating the proceeds to the Save the Children Fund.

For me, though, the bottom line is this: As long as it’s not something like Why Hitler Was Right: the Untold Story of a Misunderstood Genius and their means of getting there aren’t patently unethical, if someone has a creative dream and the guts and drive to see it through, I absolutely respect that. And if that person’s earned all sorts of loyal fans who want to help them get there, I respect that, too. And yes, I do intend to buy this movie once it’s out.

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Category: Dreaming You
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The second Friday Feature is up now! Watch and start your weekend off with a smile! Also, the first episode of Children of the Dreaming Mother should go up in December. The main reason is to ensure Dreaming You (which, in some ways, is a prologue/prequel for it) has explained certain things in the backstory before the debut. It also gives me a bit more time to do a good job.

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I chose this video because 1)it’s funny and 2)it’s by one of my Reviewers Unknown pals (Test Zero), who’s working on a new episode of this right now. It’ll probably be posted on his page for the series at Reviewers Unknown once he’s got it finished. In the meantime, though, watch, enjoy, and start your weekend off with a smile.

Category: Friday Feature
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[Warning: Contains spoilers.]

I remember when I first heard about the M. Night Shyamalan film Lady in the Water. I mainly remember how I saw an ad for it on TV and thought, “Wow, what a stupid name for a movie. This looks pretty awful.” And judging from the reviews that came in, a lot of people agreed. For years, I never gave the film a second thought-until somehow, while I was lost in TV Tropes, I wound up on its page.

Bored and curious, I gave it a shot to see if it was really that bad. It was odd. It was a little pretentious. And not all of it made sense. Nonetheless, it was watchable and at the very least, it was better than The Happening. But while I couldn’t call Lady in the Water a good movie, exactly, there was something about it that stuck with me and made me re-watch it later. Then, when I found myself re-watching again, I was finally forced to reach an unexpected conclusion: I liked this movie. I liked it a lot. Not in a “So bad it’s good” sort of way; it’s more I see something charming about it in spite of some obvious flaws.

For the uninitiated, Lady revolves around a sea nymph/muse named Story and a maintenance guy named Cleveland Heep who carries a secret burden. With Cleveland’s help, Story finds the human she was meant to inspire: a dude with writer’s block, played by none other than the writer/director himself, who is meant to write a book that 1)ultimately changes the world and 2)ensures his untimely death at the hands of someone threatened by his ideas. But the biggest focus is on getting Story back home-and how other characters, especially Cleveland, find their purpose along the way.

Personally, it doesn’t bother me that Mr. Shyamalan cast himself as the Messiah. Every creative expression is self-indulgent to some extent (even if you hide your work in a drawer, the only reason it exists is because you wanted it to), and writers especially put themselves in their stories to whatever extent. And since things were kinda going downhill for him at this point, I totally understand why he might’ve written a place for himself where he could be important. Does he really see himself as that kind of world-saving genius? I wouldn’t really know and maybe I’m better off for it. But, hey, I can’t fault him much for wanting to do that kind of good.

What made things colossally worse was when, in addition to casting himself as Jesus, Mr. Shyamalan also designated a film critic character as a villain for really convoluted reasons and had him brutally killed. When you put those things together, it paints a nasty picture of hubris that can be hard to ignore. Still, I kinda get where that impulse likely came from. After having once been lauded as a cinematic wunderkind, having the same critics who loved him before hate pretty much everything he did after, say, Signs must’ve been a tough pill to swallow. While going through with it so blatantly on film was a terrible idea, it’s no surprise he was tempted to take his frustrations out on a character he created.

Then, on top of all of that, there are certain plot and style elements that, shall we say, needed work. And the oddest of these elements is the critic’s role mentioned above. At one point in the movie, Cleveland asks him how he would determine a character’s role in a mystery before it’s revealed. The critic, who was not informed that Story even exists, has no way of knowing that Cleveland is asking him this to help get her-a real, live person-home safely. And no, he never finds out. But we, the audience, are supposed to agree with the film, which strongly implies he deserves his fate because he “acted like he knew” and “presumed to know the intention of another human being.”

I have no defense for that. It’s just awful writing that makes no logical sense. All I can really say for that is seeing it happen in context is a morbidly fascinating glimpse into the director’s psyche. The revenge fantasy shown here (while likely intended as humorous!) is so blatant, bitter and badly done that it becomes a spectacle of its own.

But all that explains is why some of the worst stuff gets a pass from me. So what, exactly, is it that I like about this movie? Part of it is just that I’m a sucker for good intentions. When I watch this movie, I see a creator who wanted more than anything to create something lovely and magical. Sure, the expression is less than perfect, but it’s definitely sincere. Kind of the film equivalent of a child’s drawing or a page out of someone’s diary.

Moreover, I found some real loveliness there after a couple of viewings. I think the main ideas behind Lady are that everyone can have a purpose and that even sad or lost or wanting souls might be touched by magic. That’s a nice message to hear now and then when everything stops making sense. And the outcome for the guy who Cleveland says off-handedly “wants to be special” always makes me smile.

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